Allah asks this question : ‘Can those who stand on clear proof from their Lord be like those whose evil deeds are made appealing to them ‘ ‘أَفَمَن كَانَ عَلَىٰ بَيِّنَةٍۢ مِّن رَّبِّهِۦ كَمَن زُيِّنَ لَهُۥ سُوٓءُ عَمَلِهِۦ’ Mohammed 14 .
Do my evil deeds appear clearly to me? Am I aware of my patterns, triggers and habits? Or am I lying to myself, hurting people around me and never taking responsibility ?
When you allow yourself to face the reality of how you’re showing up every single day, as opposed to who you’d ideally want to be. You’ll become aware of how much distance there is between you and your ideal self, in terms of character, habits and skills, relationships and more importantly devotion to Allah.
Self awareness can be an incredibly self judging and painful experience. Because what you are essentially discovering are parts of yourself you’ll have to destroy and mold all over again.
An experience that honestly transformed me, was confronting my consumerist tendencies. How much of my time I was wasting on distractions. Just social media and entertainment can steal hours of your time. The average screen time for 20-year-olds is 7 hours per day. Even if it was just 3h, that is 1095 hours per year.
Any excessive distractions, addictions and escapist tendencies are ways to cope with living without purpose.
This is just one example you can tackle. Facing your financial status can be another. The quality of your relationships or lack thereof. And most importantly, your connection to your creator.
We doubt that it’s possible for us to create our dream realities. So we retreat from the challenge. Which breeds self hatred and even more reluctance. But it is possible. If not through your own self, then through God. He is ٱلْفَتَّاحُ. He will open up doors for you to thrive.
‘And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them, and provide for them from sources they could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. ‘ ‘ۚ وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ مَخْرَجًۭا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُۥٓ ۚ’ surah Talaq 2-3
So notice the amount of noise in your head and banish it. You need and deserve clarity about who you are and where your life is going.
Therapy can be helpful with self awareness. But it is not a necessity as some current trends like to affirm. As muslim, we are sitting on gold. We have prayer, a spiritual practice sent down from the heavens, where we can call upon Allah and vent to him all our hardships. As prophet Yaqub peace be upon him did while grieving the loss of his dear son. “He replied, I complain of my anguish and sorrow only to Allah,” “قَالَ إِنَّمَآ أَشْكُوا۟ بَثِّى وَحُزْنِىٓ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ” Surah Yusuf-86
Who will hear you better than the All-hearing ‘ٱلسَّمِيعُ’? Who will understand better than the Watchful ‘ٱلْرَّقِيبُ’? And will help you more than the most merciful ‘ٱلرَّحْمَٰنُ’.
“Indeed, ˹it is˺ We ˹Who˺ created humankind and ˹fully˺ know what their souls whisper to them, and We are closer to them than ˹their˺ jugular vein.” “وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفْسُهُۥ ۖ وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ ٱلْوَرِيدِ” Surah Qaf 16
Another advice I would share, that has tremendously helped me, is journaling. It can bring the unknown to the known, the unconscious to the conscious. Allah affirms that he ‘taught by the pen-taught humanity what they knew not.’ ‘ٱلَّذِى عَلَّمَ بِٱلْقَلَمِ عَلَّمَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ’ Surah Al-Alaq 4-5
Writing changed my life, through it I became aware and present. It taught me to think. So that my thinking wouldn’t be done for me. And when I shed layer after layer onto my paper, I could finally see where my strength and value lies.
If you opt to run away from a hard look in the mirror, nothing will change. You’ll remain a slave to your fears. Putting your whims and impulses above what matters. Until they lead you somewhere you really don’t want to go, in this life or God forbid, the hereafter.
Being a Muslim, pursuing a high character and a high rank in Jannah, begins with intentionally facing who you are.
